A Twitterer's Open Letter To The @Oprah

Dear Oprah,

Hi there. Thanks for coming. How's life?

Listen, I heard about your foray into Twitterville. It is an exciting place so warmest welcomes. But, Rah, (can I call you Rah?) there's some things you should know.

First and foremost your avatar: I am quite proud of you for including a cute furry baby animal in your picture. I have chosen this same tactic and I believe if I hadn't I would have 2 followers. People love them some baby cuteness.

An analogy: Twitter really is like a little town. A town that is a little cracked-out and loves to talk. As in small towns, it is mostly friendly, but there is the occasional grump or the town drunk, but overall people really want to help. Also, keep in mind that if you actually visited a small town and in this small town people could communicate telepathically, you would be mobbed.

And so my theory. I believe your joining Twitter is all a ploy to show CNN and Ashton Kutcher that you can hit 2 million followers without batting an eyelash. You don't have to tweet one GD thing and people will come running to follow you. So show them, Rah. Show them who's really the Twitter King. Within 24 hours you had something like 600,000 followers. Show them who's boss. Tell them you'll race them to 5 billion Twitter Followers. My bet's on you.

- PhillyWordsmith

P.S. Holla if you want to give me a car or some prize or something: @PhillyWordsmith